Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
