can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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