Your dad touched me again.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
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