it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
