That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I wear drunk well.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
