we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I have post one night stand depression
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
