A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
