if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize