She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You took a bar mat shot.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
His nipple licking is glorious
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