Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Also, beer. Big fan.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
