We got so high we made milksteak
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
