just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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