Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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