Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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