Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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