I just made out with a guy for $7.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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