dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
These tits shall not be calmed
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
