apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
