Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
