He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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