They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
