when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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