Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize