Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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