wat bout pragnant strippers??
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
