Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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