just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
vagina is talking i cant
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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