Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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