ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
