My liver just broke up with me...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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