just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
