i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You are the jesus of drinking
Randomize
