Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
