I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I CAN MOONWALK!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
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it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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