Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
