me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
