Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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