I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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