i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I checked into jail on foursquare
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My penis needs a shock collar
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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