You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
