i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
