Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
