You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
