Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
The air taste purple.
Randomize
