Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize