Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
