I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
