It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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