I saw his package. It spoke to me.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
