so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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