Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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