But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
