I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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