I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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