Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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