Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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