I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
