I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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