yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
