so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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