420 ftw
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
