i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
