Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
