I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize