Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
