Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
