You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize